Once again, the premise that attorneys have no sense of humor is proven.  This time by a Houston attorney named, Mark Bennett who took some shots at me in his   Criminal Defense Blog. It is ironic that I would argue that failure to service and/or communicate with the client is the most excusable in the criminal defense arena where it is about immediate results against huge consequences for a bad one….  If Mark gets me off on a murder rap, I certainly would overlook  no returned calls…..

 I must have really struck a nerve down there with my “I DON’T GIVE A SHIT BLOG or maybe it was my criticism of Rusty Hardin.  Other than my comments about Rusty, (which I am sure he read and was traumatized to no end) I went back and looked at the ‘SHIT BLOG”.   Maybe I was off base and should clarify, quantify, rectify and every other “fy” out there…….   It really does not matter does it…? I am sure than obviously making Mr. Bennett uncomfortable, my little read thoughts will not have much effect on the states of attorney-client service in the State of Texas

I however I frankly think I am in a better position to opine on the subject than the Mark Bennetts of the world…. Why do you say?  I say this because I can be more objective in that I am not beholding to any special interests……  What special interests do you ask?   The largest legal special interest out there that 90 percent of attorney’s rely on to get their business…….. Other attorneys.

 There is a warm blanket of honesty attached with not needing referral business as I am sure Mr. Bennett does……     

Time to go get my bicycle hose out of the closet.  Need to “self’ inflate” my reputation value…..   I have no doubt Mr. Bennett uses one of those electric heavy duty ones to deal with his ego……

(WASHINGTON) CNN has learned that President George W. Bush has will soon announce what he terms   a “historic news conference” of what his press secretary terms an announcement of unprecedented scientific and political significance.   While the administration has been tightlipped on any further details, CNN has been able to obtain certain key details which are admittedly both stunning in frightening in their national and world significance.   CNN has learned that an announcement will be made that the question of whether we are alone in the universe may have been answered and in this answer is a significant national and world security threat.   President Bush is considering a complete recall of the National Guard from the Middle East as well as reinstating the draft to deal with this threat. 

It appears that for the past 3 years there have been breaches of United States airspace by extra-terrestrial crafts which have deposited millions of undetected “pods” hidden in rural farm fields and uninhabited terrain in both the United States, Canada.   It appears that after a three week “gestation” period, these pods have hatched humanoid creatures which the Bush administration as termed “OBOMAROIDS”……….

CNN has learned that these “OBAMAROIDS” when fully developed appear completely human to the naked eye and communicate both verbally, telepathically and have mind control capabilities.  The presence of these OBAMAROIDS was first detected through a mysterious signal that seemed to be emanating from all OBAMA GIRLS  on YouTube.   A team of decryption specialists at MIT has been able to determine that the source of the signal is a previously undetected satellite of unknown origin orbiting the earth.   While the meaning of much of the signal is still unknown, it has been determined that part of the signals transmits the message “OBAMA RULES………  “It has also been determining though brain scans that there is a definite mind control component to the signal. It is unknown how long this signals has been transmitted and how many people have been infected by it………  

CNN has also learned that THE OBAMA GIRLS have been detained by the FBI and are being held in a specially fortified holding cell in Guantanamo Bay. This cell is designed to prevent any type of signals going in or out…..

Scientists from all over the world have alleged come together in a secret location at AREA 51 in New Mexico to hopefully determine the extent of the invasion and whether the signal has affected the internet……

CNN has also learned that specially designed sunglasses are being developed that would be able to spot these OBAMAROIDS in their alien form.  One MIT scientists speaking anonymously due to national security concerns stated when seen in their alien form , these OBMAROIDS where ugly, “lizard like” creatures……

Presidential Candidate Barack Obama  was unavailable for comment……

Stay tuned for part 2 of this special CNN special report entitled ATTACK OF THE OBAMAROIDS……..

(CNN)The mayor of Tampa Florida has officially notified the International Olympic Committee that they will be submitting a formal proposal for new sport to be included at the 2012 Summer Olympics in London.   When asked for comment, city officials stated that they hoped their new sport would be included in future games for generations to come.  They however were mum on the specifics as the formal proposal had not been submitted. 

CNN investigative reporters however were able to get a copy of the proposal. We have learned that the new sport is called the “quad dump”. 

The basics of the sport were first developed by the deputy sheriffs at the Hillsborough County Jail by practicing on wheel chair confined prisoners   after self review of video capturing deputy sheriffs twice in one month dumping helpless prisoners out of their wheel chair onto the floor.

Mayor Pam Iorio felt there was a certain combination of art and strength needed to effectuate a successful “quad dump” and therefore should be classified as a sport. 

When asked for his opinion, Hillsborough County Sheriff David Gee smiled and stated “ we have taken the art of “the dump” to a whole new level.” Our deputy sheriffs are visiting jails all over the state asking for wheel chair confined inmates to volunteer for “quad dump practice” in exchange for a free pack of cigarettes.  He went on to confidently state that they would be ready should the new sport be approved. More to follow………

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I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it!  I have received numerous nasty emails from indignant attorneys irritated at my impugning the integrity of the legal profession in my “I Don’t Give A Shit Blog” The number of responses in itself is amazing.  The last time I checked my stats, only about 30 people had been to the page.   The bad word has always traveled faster than the good word….

There was one particular response by criminal defense attorney Stephen Gustitus in his blog, The Defense Perspective: Client Communications.  In the blog he states that I must not have many clients….  The logic of that was lost on me.  Was he saying that he has so many clients that he doesn’t return their calls or god forbid “he doesn’t give a shit?” It would have made more sense if he had said I must not have many friends in the legal profession….. 

 In any event, you are right Stephen. I don’t have many clients. I am like Tom Hagan, the character played by Robert Duvall in The Godfather….   Right before he gave that big shot Hollywood producer a “horse head  nighty”  he told him that he had a “special practice” where he only handled one client.  I guess that is kind of like me. Hagan lived through all the Godfathers so I guess I will have a long career.  That is not to say I am comparing my brother Mark Cuban to Michael Corelone.  God forbid he would decide I was more like Fredo and have me whacked  while I was floating in a giant rubber ducky in his swimming pool. Unlike Fredo however, I would not be saying any hail Marys since I am Jewish.  I have no idea what the Jewish equivalent is

My phone is ringing. It is probably my only client. I had better answer it before I have a VERY special practice of none…..